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Thank you mellyjelly/drumthings for this fantabulous skin=D

Love Maintenance


The Brain and Love - The Psychology of Love by Marvin Rosen




“No one falls out of love ... One climbs out of it. We give up the hopeless task of making over someone into our ideal. We end the relationship” Yet relationships do survive. As love matures, blemishes may be more apparent but other positive qualities emerge that allow the love relationship to endure.



The maintenance of a relationship involves more than the qualities of initial attraction or the absence of disliked quali­ties. Initial qualities that influence partner selection, such as physical attractiveness, become less important over time. Other factors now enter into decision-making processes, leading to maintenance of the relationship. These include such things as the person's acceptability to friends, special skills that the partner demonstrates, and common interests in leisure-time activities. However, in mature love relationships, including marriage, the emotional reactions of both partners toward each other need to remain positive overall. The pro­cess for long-term relationships requires sufficient time for both partners to get to know each other. Findings from inter­views of couples support the need of most respondents for intimacy, beyond passion.



Perhaps the most positive factor in the maintenance of a loving relationship is that each person continues to evaluate the other positively and to communicate this knowledge. At the beginning of a relationship, both partners initiate physical closeness; they make frequent eye contact, give each other gifts, say kind things, hold hands, are thoughtful of each other, and avoid criticism. As the relationship continues, these things tend to occur less frequently. Partners might take each other for granted. If this type of thoughtlessness is constant, it jeopardizes the relationship.







HAPPY 2008!